Wow. I go away for a couple of weeks and look what happens...

• England actually win a game quite convincingly. AND an Arsenal player actually scores for England. In fact, he scores a hat-trick! When did that last happen?!
• Arsenal shake off their early season loss at Fulham and start getting their shooting boots on. A hat-trick from Adebayor on Saturday was nice to see. The vultures are currently on vacation.
• The football hierarchy has taken another turn for the worse, with another money-bags owner rolling up in his Rolls. This time it's Man City's turn to take over the world. Would you Adam'n'Eve it. Football's eternal losers might actually become world football's super power. Quite astonishing.
• Newcastle and Keggers have parted company yet again. And you have to feel a bit sorry for the fans...

It's darned hot out there my little cherubs. And for some reason the beer isn't staying cold much longer than a couple of minutes. So, of course, that means you have to down them that much quicker. It's a shitty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

Chippy is thankfully out of hospital. But his first day "back on the job" means watching Spurs play. Surely not what the doctor ordered?

Our hero was rushed to hospital earlier this morning. Our best wishes go out to him and let's hope it's down to the airline meal and nothing else.

Not sure if I've been too long in the sun today, but I swear I haven't touched any alcohol. Just feeling a little nauseous, and I'm not sure if this picture has anything to do with it...

A strange signing, I think. OK, defensive cover is good, and he has plenty of experience, but I'm finding it hard to get excited by a guy I used to ridicule when bantering with my Man United mates. And, to be honest, a 2 year deal for a player with a manky leg, already 31, seems to be a kick in the face for past legends such as Dennis or Bobby Pires, who were always only offered 1 year deals because they had reached 30+. Not too sure, but might need to have a beer or 3 to dilute this further. Glug, glug...

I managed to catch last night's friendly against the Czechs. Well, at least the second half. And I have to say that nothing seems to have changed. The same old players, same old problems with Lampard and Gerrard, same old lack of spark. When I compare this lot to the Arse, I'm just happy that the last 30 years or so of my supporter life have been spent concentrated on the Arse, rather than just England. Quite disappointing, though probably expected. Let's face it, Capello has to work with what he's given, which is pretty much a bunch of over-hyped, overpaid celebz. Don't get me wrong, I'll be cheering them on through their World Cup qualifying, but perhaps getting more disillusioned with every year and tournament passing...

Chippy had a sweet left foot. Nuff said.

Scorching sunshine and beers are OK. Dinking your toes in the Med is OK. Caving in to the demands of a seemingly mercenarious (sounds proper, dunnit?) buggar, not OK. Hmmm. Adebayor has a lot of brown nosing and scoring to do in the next few weeks/months.

Anyway, what with the strike force seemingly in good shape, Arsene has to turn his attention to midfield. One good signing and we're done. With stories flying around last week that Rafa over at The Pool took no part in discussions between Xavi Alonso and Arsenal, Rafa perhaps revealed more than he intended. Or maybe not. But it does look that Arsene is seriously interested, if only he could will his spendthrift (ahem...) fingers to wrap around that pen to sign a big, fat cheque...

And do we think Alonso would be a good buy? Well, yes. Actually a very decent one. He's got some decent Premiership experience behind him, has just won the European Championship with Spain and seems ready for a new challenge. Let's not forget he always seemed to play fairly decently against the Arse, and from what I remember had a bit of grit to some of his challenges. Could be just what the doctor ordered. And of course, his other 'alf seems OK, always an important point to mention. So come on over Chubby, the water's lovely.

Well, no sooner do I say that Newcastle are Man United's bitch, Keggers goes and instills some steely backbone into his Toon lads and they pull off a rather surprising draw at Old Trafford. Apparently it's been some 36 years since Newcastle last beat Man United at Old Trafford, so we're happy with a draw this morning. But, don't forget that United only got 2 points from their first 3 games last season, so...

Chelsea look strong and impressive, and playing to a Brazilian samba rythm, apparently. I managed to catch a few minutes of their game against Portsmouth and they looked crisp and tasty. Just like a packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion.

It was just too hot yesterday, so I didn't risk burning my lily-white buttocks out in the midday sun. I hid away in the living room, while the kids and wife were banished for a couple of hours while Arsenal took on West Brom. Yep, the lack of beer-like substances was a problem, but don't worry, this place is never alcohol-free for too long.

The game itself wasn't bad. I thought Arsenal started very well, and there was some good stuff from most of the lads, including Bendtner, Denilson, and Nasri, who slotted home what turned out to be the winner and played a couple of killer passes. Hleb? Who? He does look like he could fit in very nicely with the Arsenal style of play. Have to agree partly with Arsene, because I'm not sure that the lads were always in control. I have to say that on a couple of occasions, their young No.10 Miller, built like a brick shithouse, looked very handy and potentially game-winning.

But there was a feeling of deja vu, that the end of last season, and failures to really kill off games, was still lingering around. Perhaps Cesc's abscence was a crucial factor, who knows? But fuck it, it's 3 points on the board, that's 3 more than either Chelski or Man United. And United have Newcastle later today, so a good chance of stealing an early lead. Yeh riiiiight. Newcastle=Man United's bitch. Every bleedin' season.

Yep, that glorious morning that comes round once a year...the start of the footie season proper. Arsenal host newly promoted West Brom and actually launch the Premiership season with the early kick-off, and should be strong enough to get a decent win and a nice 3 points to kick off the season.

I'm trying to convince the wife and the littluns to get out of the house for a couple of hours as there's no chance of me getting to a pub to see this one. The beers, ah the beers...well, they would have been nice n'cold, waiting for me in the fridge, but I met up with a guy from Oz last night and he helped wiped out my reserves, the bastard.

It's goodbye to another English lad as Justin moves to Middlesboro. Quite surprising, if you ask me, as the defence isn't exactly bulging at the seams with an excess of experienced staff. Perhaps an indication that another signing, a defensive one, is on the way?

Anyway, looking forward to this afternoon, come on lads!

The new season kicks off tomorrow, oh my goodness. It's been a long summer holiday, isn't it always, but it's that time of year again. That time when the missus gets to go visit her folks, the kids get banished from sight, and my right bicep starts working overtime. That's right, it works extra hard as I drag the extremely heavy pint of beery goodness from the table to my lips...hopefully I'll be catching the Arse live on TV somewhere, either at home or in a cosy pub, but the beer will be the one constant, wherever the game.

I'm optimistic that this season will be another entertaining one from Arsene and the boys, whatever the doubters might say. A nice Champs League run will do me nicely, a challenge for the FA Cup and a good shot at the title, and I think most will be happy. Obviously some will call for the head of Arsene if we go trophyless for a fourth season and some of our leading lights might get restless, but fuck it, the club is always bigger than the players. Losing players like Cesc will be a big big blow but just last season we were apparently doomed to mid-table mediocrity after Thierry left and look what a season we had.

I say bring it on baby, bring it on.

I think the result is what's important. Arsenal playing away in Holland against an Umbrella-Boy led team, it had the potential to be problematic. So well done lads on a good, solid performance that makes the return leg at the Emirates a little easier.

This result probably hasn't swayed many, but I think there are too many Gooners getting a little too worried about what's going on this summer, in respect to the apparent lack of quality summer signings. Something's going down behind the scenes, I think it's a fairly safe bet. The summer still ain't over; don't worry, somebody (anybody!) will come and snap up Eboue...

Fat Frank now the highest earner in the Premiership? That sure buys a lot of Mars bars. Did I ever tell you about the time I shared a lift with him in a Tel Aviv hotel? Should have stamped on the buggar's foot when I had the chance. And Mourinho, keep your mouth shut, you twat...

Aye, another scorcher this morning. I'm in my leopard skin thong and sweating like a pig, and it's still only 8.20 in the morning...at least the jellyfish have disappeared, looks like they've shimmied themselves all the way over to the UK coast...

It looks like a certain Mr Berbatov could finally be on his way to Man United in the next few hours. And, as I utter this through gritted teeth, this move is likely to make Man United just that little bit stronger. Berbatov is a classy player, let's face it, way too classy for a club like Spurs. And he could be enough to help Man United steal the show yet again this year.

Don't get me wrong, as a Gooner I'm usually optimistic, and the lads will be there fighting for it, of that I'm sure, but Man United's strength in-depth is what makes the difference. They didn't need to go out and splash the cash. None of their regular first-team squad left (despite constant press-mongering from those fuckers over at Madrid), so they will be strong yet again this year. Ditto for Chelsea, who have actually strengthened without losing stars too. But no, I'm not going to launch into a tirade about why Arsene should go and open those purse strings. We all know he should, let's leave it at that. Let's just hope that if Berbatov does actually join Man United, then it will spark off a tumultuous Premiership summer spending spree that will see Arsenal get a couple of decent, experienced players (and perhaps see a taker for Eboue? Please...). Please Arsene, no more 17 year old starlets.

Anyway, tonight it really kicks off for Arsenal. Could be a little bit tougher than we are probably anticipating, and without a few regulars, including Toure, Cesc and Senderos. Perhaps a little something to come from some of the youngsters? Jack is there, Aaron and Carlos too. Looking forward to it, though not sure if I'll be able to catch the game live.

Aahhh, footie, it's back!

As the sun beats down yet again and beads of perspiration shimmer on my forehead, and, God forbid, the once cold beer has now turned lukewarm, it's time again for some footie talk.

Spotted this article yesterday, about a wee Marc Overmars making a comeback. Has it really been 8 years since he was last at Arsenal? I remember some mighty fine moments from him, including the one below. But getting 25 mill for him was a bit of genius on the part of Arsene. Because once you leave the Arse, it's only downhill I'm afraid.

Boring articles like this, which have been two-a-penny over the last couple of years, already suggest the title is going to Man United or Chelsea. Yawwwwwn...

Time for another beer. Waitress!

Oh crikey, is it that time of year already? And there I was, soaking up some rays, sipping my lager while carefully studying the eye candy strolling past...and then I realised that not everybody is fortunate enough to live next to the Med, some people have to work for a living. Like those poorly paid Premiership players, for example. Bless 'em, let's not get them jealous with tales of sun-soaked fun.

Anyway, as the Med gently laps at my toes, yesterday saw the annual Charity Shield bash, this year it was Man United v Portsmouth. Now I know why the start of the season almost passed me by...hardly the most appetising game possible, right? So, who won? Does anyone really care, apart from a few Man United fans who will go on and on and on (mentioning no names here) about this being another trophy-laden season...the bastards. And talking of bastards, this little story of a possible Henry return to UK shores is a little hard to take. My beer suddenly doesn't taste quite as good...

With an important Champs League qualifier in mid-week, Arsenal are looking reasonable, even if it means we have to take the badge kissing antics of a certain Adebayor. He's still top-class, even if he still misses sitters. And who else out there is available, within Arsene's price range? Exactly.

This weekend also saw the start of the lower leagues (all those not privileged with celebrity Premiership status), including my homeboys, Eastbourne Borough, who are bidding for entry into the League - this season they are in the Conference (now the Blue Square Premier) for the first time in their history. Unfortunately, even with the ancestors sent to bang the drums and spit at the ref, they blew it and lost 1-0 at home to Rushden and Diamonds.

Time for another beer. More tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow, this blog is back in business!