Wow. I go away for a couple of weeks and look what happens...

• England actually win a game quite convincingly. AND an Arsenal player actually scores for England. In fact, he scores a hat-trick! When did that last happen?!
• Arsenal shake off their early season loss at Fulham and start getting their shooting boots on. A hat-trick from Adebayor on Saturday was nice to see. The vultures are currently on vacation.
• The football hierarchy has taken another turn for the worse, with another money-bags owner rolling up in his Rolls. This time it's Man City's turn to take over the world. Would you Adam'n'Eve it. Football's eternal losers might actually become world football's super power. Quite astonishing.
• Newcastle and Keggers have parted company yet again. And you have to feel a bit sorry for the fans...

It's darned hot out there my little cherubs. And for some reason the beer isn't staying cold much longer than a couple of minutes. So, of course, that means you have to down them that much quicker. It's a shitty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

Chippy is thankfully out of hospital. But his first day "back on the job" means watching Spurs play. Surely not what the doctor ordered?

Our hero was rushed to hospital earlier this morning. Our best wishes go out to him and let's hope it's down to the airline meal and nothing else.

Not sure if I've been too long in the sun today, but I swear I haven't touched any alcohol. Just feeling a little nauseous, and I'm not sure if this picture has anything to do with it...

A strange signing, I think. OK, defensive cover is good, and he has plenty of experience, but I'm finding it hard to get excited by a guy I used to ridicule when bantering with my Man United mates. And, to be honest, a 2 year deal for a player with a manky leg, already 31, seems to be a kick in the face for past legends such as Dennis or Bobby Pires, who were always only offered 1 year deals because they had reached 30+. Not too sure, but might need to have a beer or 3 to dilute this further. Glug, glug...

I managed to catch last night's friendly against the Czechs. Well, at least the second half. And I have to say that nothing seems to have changed. The same old players, same old problems with Lampard and Gerrard, same old lack of spark. When I compare this lot to the Arse, I'm just happy that the last 30 years or so of my supporter life have been spent concentrated on the Arse, rather than just England. Quite disappointing, though probably expected. Let's face it, Capello has to work with what he's given, which is pretty much a bunch of over-hyped, overpaid celebz. Don't get me wrong, I'll be cheering them on through their World Cup qualifying, but perhaps getting more disillusioned with every year and tournament passing...

Chippy had a sweet left foot. Nuff said.

Scorching sunshine and beers are OK. Dinking your toes in the Med is OK. Caving in to the demands of a seemingly mercenarious (sounds proper, dunnit?) buggar, not OK. Hmmm. Adebayor has a lot of brown nosing and scoring to do in the next few weeks/months.

Anyway, what with the strike force seemingly in good shape, Arsene has to turn his attention to midfield. One good signing and we're done. With stories flying around last week that Rafa over at The Pool took no part in discussions between Xavi Alonso and Arsenal, Rafa perhaps revealed more than he intended. Or maybe not. But it does look that Arsene is seriously interested, if only he could will his spendthrift (ahem...) fingers to wrap around that pen to sign a big, fat cheque...

And do we think Alonso would be a good buy? Well, yes. Actually a very decent one. He's got some decent Premiership experience behind him, has just won the European Championship with Spain and seems ready for a new challenge. Let's not forget he always seemed to play fairly decently against the Arse, and from what I remember had a bit of grit to some of his challenges. Could be just what the doctor ordered. And of course, his other 'alf seems OK, always an important point to mention. So come on over Chubby, the water's lovely.

Well, no sooner do I say that Newcastle are Man United's bitch, Keggers goes and instills some steely backbone into his Toon lads and they pull off a rather surprising draw at Old Trafford. Apparently it's been some 36 years since Newcastle last beat Man United at Old Trafford, so we're happy with a draw this morning. But, don't forget that United only got 2 points from their first 3 games last season, so...

Chelsea look strong and impressive, and playing to a Brazilian samba rythm, apparently. I managed to catch a few minutes of their game against Portsmouth and they looked crisp and tasty. Just like a packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion.

It was just too hot yesterday, so I didn't risk burning my lily-white buttocks out in the midday sun. I hid away in the living room, while the kids and wife were banished for a couple of hours while Arsenal took on West Brom. Yep, the lack of beer-like substances was a problem, but don't worry, this place is never alcohol-free for too long.

The game itself wasn't bad. I thought Arsenal started very well, and there was some good stuff from most of the lads, including Bendtner, Denilson, and Nasri, who slotted home what turned out to be the winner and played a couple of killer passes. Hleb? Who? He does look like he could fit in very nicely with the Arsenal style of play. Have to agree partly with Arsene, because I'm not sure that the lads were always in control. I have to say that on a couple of occasions, their young No.10 Miller, built like a brick shithouse, looked very handy and potentially game-winning.

But there was a feeling of deja vu, that the end of last season, and failures to really kill off games, was still lingering around. Perhaps Cesc's abscence was a crucial factor, who knows? But fuck it, it's 3 points on the board, that's 3 more than either Chelski or Man United. And United have Newcastle later today, so a good chance of stealing an early lead. Yeh riiiiight. Newcastle=Man United's bitch. Every bleedin' season.

Yep, that glorious morning that comes round once a year...the start of the footie season proper. Arsenal host newly promoted West Brom and actually launch the Premiership season with the early kick-off, and should be strong enough to get a decent win and a nice 3 points to kick off the season.

I'm trying to convince the wife and the littluns to get out of the house for a couple of hours as there's no chance of me getting to a pub to see this one. The beers, ah the beers...well, they would have been nice n'cold, waiting for me in the fridge, but I met up with a guy from Oz last night and he helped wiped out my reserves, the bastard.

It's goodbye to another English lad as Justin moves to Middlesboro. Quite surprising, if you ask me, as the defence isn't exactly bulging at the seams with an excess of experienced staff. Perhaps an indication that another signing, a defensive one, is on the way?

Anyway, looking forward to this afternoon, come on lads!